by Sherif Awad
As I was six years-old, I started ballet, and we made a show, I will never forget this feeling just before going on stage, the fears and panic and then the release once the audience started applause, I remember till today that feeling: “I want to stay here for ever”
Growing up, my role models were Sex Pistols, Siouxies, Banchies and other Punk music band. I had so much rage in me and found my place in the punk scene. I also loved Romy Schneider, Sophie Marceau. Isabelle Adjani and other strong and beautiful women. I was full of boundaries and the deep feeling that I have to play a role, the feeling I have to be everything else but me, as I started the education I was amazed to here and being taught to actually just be myself. It was hard work but also a lot of fun and freedom. My acting study taught me to be more and more me, that’s a big thing also for my personal life. It’s about becoming my personality…
I’m 47 now, and as an actress, it was all my life important how I look like, to be pretty and thin and sporty and pleasant. There are very fewer roles for than for men. And, in older age, it’s getting worse… Maybe it has more to do with my age than with my gender… But it feels like it is working together…
I feel that the film and theater Industry is still sticking in old clichés, like a police person has to be a man, the secretary a woman and so on… I wished the productions would go in a more unconventional way and give new image of parenthood, profession gender and origins and this should be free of body shapes…
In casting, the situation is still the same: if you have an agency or agent then you can get big roles, if not then it’s almost impossible to get in big deals. I am very happy that there are platforms like: http://filmmakers.de where casting people are searching for actors, but it’s always for smaller role… For me, what is important is: the role itself, the team and the director. Then I look at the contract, fees, travel, etc… It is not always easy to negotiate but I have good skills so I also get what Ii want 🙂 When I work in a project, it becomes my whole life. I really dig in and this is my way to do it. Right now, I don’t have a private life and I also don’t need one. When the project is over, I appreciate again having a private life and socializing. Through the years my relatives and friends know and accept it 🙂
My greatest theatrical role was The Trial by Kafka where I played all the female roles. It was quite a challenge to be different person and it is still authentic and great. The best production ever! We won a few nominations… Between acting jobs, I also am working as a art teacher and as a wardrobe supervisor on set.
I advise all the young artists that there will be ups and downs, phase of luck and phases where it is important to stay focus and disciplined. Never loose faith and believe in yourself, it’s not because you have no job at the moment that you are not an artist 🙂 Of course, it is momentarily very hard because theater and film shooting are not allowed, we are searching for way to show the pieces online, and so I am writing my biography.
